Pet Parents Anonymous: Confessions We’re Not Even a Little Ashamed Of

Hi, my name is Audrey, and I’ve canceled a night out to stay home and cuddle my dog. 😌 If you’ve ever rearranged your entire life for your furry friend, welcome. You’re one of us.

This is Pet Parents Anonymous: a safe space where we proudly admit the funny, quirky, and downright obsessive things we do for our pets — and not a single one of us is sorry. Let’s confess the truth, together. 🐾

1. Canceling Plans Because… Dog

“I’d love to come to your party but… my cat just sat on me and I can’t move now.”

Totally legit excuse. Sorry, not sorry.

2. Using a Baby Voice in Public

“Who’s da goodest wittle floofy muffin?! YOU AWE!”

In front of strangers. At the vet. At Starbucks. No regrets.

3. Buying More Clothes for Your Pet Than Yourself

Your dog has seasonal outfits. You’ve worn the same hoodie since 2019.

Priorities: correctly sorted.

4. Calling Them Your “Baby” and Fully Meaning It

Human kids? Maybe someday. But this dog? This is my child. Don’t question it.

5. Talking to Them Like They’re Your Therapist

“So anyway, I just don’t feel seen, you know?”

Your pet: *blinks slowly, probably judging you*.

Still the best listener in the house.

6. Not Moving Because They're Sleeping on You

Your bladder is full. Your legs are numb. But they’re asleep on you so... you live here now.

7. Feeling Offended When They Ignore You

You bought them toys. Treats. Sang them songs. And now they walk past you like you’re just a roommate??

Rude.

8. Celebrating Their Birthday Like a National Holiday

There was cake. Party hats. A guest list. Custom treats. Maybe even a photographer. Yes, I’m THAT pet parent.

9. Leaving the TV on So They Don't Get Lonely

“It’s fine, I left them with Animal Planet and the blinds open so they can look at squirrels. They’re good.”

10. Carrying Them When They’re Fully Capable of Walking

“No no, she’s just tired. She walked 8 steps. That’s enough.”

Now you’re carrying a 25lb dog like a newborn. Welcome to the club.

Being a pet parent isn’t just a title — it’s a lifestyle. A passionate, slightly unhinged, completely devoted lifestyle. And if loving your fur baby this hard is wrong, we don’t want to be right. 💖🐾

Drop your own confession in the comments — we promise, you’re not alone. #PetParentsUnite